Sunday, November 3, 2013

Sundays in Amerca

Okay, well, I guess this applies more specifically to the two states in which I have spent most of my life in. That is in Pennsylvania, and New Jersey. The former longer than the latter. Nonetheless, in these two states, this is when those of us weirdo car lovers can venture to our grown up version of a toy store: The New Car lot. There are a couple of reasons that this trip becomes an adventure. First of all, it is almost like trespassing. The dealership is closed. Most of the car lots have some type of barrier to protect themselves from some sort of car thief serial theft party, kinda thing. However, for those of us who are legitimately just weirdos wanting to step around and through a new car lot to dream as we peak into the windows looking at whatever it is that turns us on about these silly machines, those barriers actually work in our favor. These barriers keep the police from coming up to us with suspicion that we are going to steal a vehicle off from the lot. Okay, you know what, scratch all of that which I just said. I guess I am really just escaping off into some kind of land of assumptions because as I am explaining what I've just explained I realize that even though there are barriers keeping people from stealing vehicles from the lot, those of us who are there (just dreaming, looking, and peaking) could actually be mistaken as criminals. Possibly even being shot to death by a trigger happy anyone while simply just looking at window stickers. I realize now that up to this point, for all the years I take my Sunday walk through random dealer lots, I guess I have been lucky not to be harassed by the law. Let's be real, it is actually totally possible to steal things without actually removing the vehicle in its entirety from the lot. If you are creative enough you can run a chop shop by just stripping entire lots filled with vehicles on Sunday's when dealerships are closed. Hmm... Okay, but what is my point with all of this palaver? I really don't know actually. But I do know that Sunday is my favorite time to go through a car lot because I am not attacked by a relentless car salesperson that is trying to make a particular monthly whatever it is this person is trying for. And then an added bonus for Sunday car browsing is that it keeps one's phone safe from that weird car salesperson after convincing you it is a good idea to give out your phone number for that person to just stalk you every couple of months, "hey, just calling to let you know we just got a shipment of over priced gas guzzling, almost already to be outdated electronic option filled whatevers," while in the same breath stating that I should come in for a test drive so that I can be convinced that I should spend my life savings on a totally absurd combination of plastic and cheapest made parts placed into a overly marketed piece of shit. Oh, yeah, I would love to pay 2300 on an integrated navigation system because my smartphone does not do that for me at no extra cost. Oh, and, yes, please, I would love to have the option to listen to XM or Sirius to waste my money when I can listen to the radio for free, or even better simply plug in my smartphone and hear exactly everything I prefer to listen to. Great ideas out there car manufactures. Yeah, your vehicle current miles per gallon stats really make all the sense in the world at this point in time. Glad to see such proactive solutions to true economic and ecologic worries. So, yeah, Sunday car shopping, a time that permits me to just keep my dreaming and car browsing experience to my own eclectic imagination as I visit these car dealerships on that seventh day. A day that God decided to rest. A day that the mosquitos who work at many of these dealerships are at home, all coming off of a night of snorting lines, and well, whatever it is that they do on a Saturday night.

Tip of the day. When buying a car, give out no numbers.

Dealer "What is your current car payment?"
You "I would rather not divulge that right now."


Dealer "What is your telephone number?"
You "I would rather not divulge that right now."

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